


Fuck Self-Preservation

by unadulteratedstorycollector



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied Switching, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:24:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11408016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unadulteratedstorycollector/pseuds/unadulteratedstorycollector
Summary: Harry is about to leave to work in America, which means his arrangement with Draco is coming to an end. And there's nothing Draco can do about it. Not without some very not-Slytherin courage.





	Fuck Self-Preservation

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you firethesound for the awesome prompt! I loved it the second I saw it. I actually started writing a silly long story that took over my life, but didn't manage to get it done in time. I will finish it one day!

“Hey.” Draco glances up from his pint as Harry flops next to him. His eyes are wild and his hair is all over the place. He looks fucking gorgeous. Draco tightens his grip on his pint and refuses to acknowledge the tension in the back of his neck. He’s not here to feel sorry for himself.

“Hello.” He forces himself to smile. Harry stares at him for a moment, his eyes scanning Draco’s face like he’s searching for something. Draco coughs, gazing out across the pub at all their friends. “You having fun?” He doesn’t look at Harry. He can’t bring himself to. He knows it’s cowardly, and that if he had any Gryffindor in him that he’d just bite the fucking Avada Kadavra and talk to Harry. But he can’t. Self-preservation. Harry scoffs and takes Draco’s pint from his hand, downing it.

“Sure. It’s like a regular night out except Hermione keeps crying on me,” he glances over at Draco and Draco laughs a little, “what’s not to love about that?”

“She’ll miss you,” Draco states, somewhat pointlessly. Of course she’ll miss him. He’s leaving to work for a foreign government for an indefinite amount of time. Hermione misses him if he goes away for a week.

“It’s not like I’m not going to see you all again.” Harry looks slightly miserable and Draco’s heart tugs. Right. Just like he sees them all now, catching a moment between one meeting and another. Sleeping on sofas and grabbing quick pints before he’s off on another mission. Harry works too hard. And there are only two people in the world that can stop him, and both of them work pretty fucking hard too. Hermione is on her way to becoming chief of medicine at St Mungos and Ron has just opened a shop in Hogsmeade and expanded the one in Diagon. No one has time to stop Harry from doing ridiculous things. Draco takes a deep breath to stop from shaking and leans back, signalling to the bartender for another beer.

“What time do you leave tomorrow?” He knows what time Harry is leaving tomorrow. It’s branded into his brain. Harry gives him a look before sighing, following Draco’s movements. His thigh is pressed against Draco’s and Draco tries to ignore the heat flooding through him and the tightening of his trousers.

“Just after breakfast… Molly is making something so we’re all going to The Burrow.” Harry resolutely stares at the table. Draco’s never been invited to The Burrow. Yes, he’s friends with Ron. Yes, he gets on relatively well with George. But being invited to The Burrow means family, and he isn’t family. Which means that tonight is the last time he’s going to see Harry before he disappears forever.

“Are you coming over?” He can’t stop the question from spilling from his mouth. The blush crawls up his skin, his stupid fucking pale skin, as he slants a look at Harry out of the corner of his eye. Harry is smirking at him, his eyes dark and shining with something that Draco doesn’t want to analyse.

“Of course.” Harry claps him on the back as their pints arrive, his hand lingering just a fraction on Draco’s shoulder, sending shivers running through him.

\-----  
“Do you want a drink?” he asks as he and Harry Apparate into his living room. Harry shakes his head as he starts to walk towards Draco, his eyes hooded and dark. Draco’s heart pounds, the normal surge of adrenaline running through him at Harry being in his living room. He knows that it’s stupid, but he can’t stop wanting Harry, wanting all of him. Can’t stop making his heart clench at the thought of Harry leaving.

“I don’t want a drink,” Harry rumbles. The warm smell of sweat and cinnamon rushes over Draco and he forces himself not to lean into it. Harry will get to him soon enough. He always does. Draco’s fingers tremble in anticipation as Harry stalks towards him. Fuck, he loves this. Not just the sex, obviously that’s fantastic, but the delicious build up beforehand. And if this is the last time… well, he’s not going to deny himself anything. He wants to memorise every single moment.

“What do you want?” he breathes as Harry steps into his space, their noses brushing together. Harry’s eyes swirl as he grins, tilting his head slightly. His lips ghost over Draco’s and Draco holds himself back, his heartbeat pounding in his head, his cock unbearably hard. Harry brings one hand up, running his fingers through Draco’s hair, sending shivers of pleasure through Draco and forcing him to focus on Harry’s eyes.

“You,” Harry whispers before surging forward. Draco releases an embarrassing squeak as Harry’s tongue slips into his mouth. Harry’s lips are soft, he tastes of beer and heat, and Draco can’t stop himself from becoming dizzy. He moves his hands to run through Harry’s hair, his ridiculous wild hair, focusing on the way it tangles in his fingers, the strands thick and silky. Harry deepens the kiss and Draco sinks into it, his tongue twirling against Harry’s, Harry’s soft breath on his cheek. Harry’s hands slide down his side and his stomach clenches, his heart aching. He needs this. Needs more. 

“Please, Harry…” he whimpers, cringing slightly at how pathetic he sounds. He knows he should try and control himself, but he can feel the hard line of Harry pressed against his hip and he knows that there’s no controlling anything. Harry smirks into his mouth and strong, capable fingers start to unbutton his shirt. He can’t help but lean into the heat of Harry, cool air brushing against his back as Harry peels his clothes off him. 

They move together, ripping clothes off, kicking shoes away, walking slowly towards Draco’s bedroom, their lips never leaving each other. Fuck it, Draco can walk his flat in his sleep and not bump into anything. He doesn’t need to focus on anything other than the man undressing him. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He pushes his bedroom door open as Harry slides their pants down, and his breath leaves him as Harry presses their erections together. Nothing in the world should feel as good as Harry’s cock lined up next to his, rubbing together and making his toes tingle.

Harry pushes him towards the bed and Draco stumbles, landing on his back. He props himself up on the elbows and raises an eyebrow at Harry.

“You wanting to ride me?” He’d be embarrassed at how breathless he sounds, but he can see Harry’s chest heaving, his erection a deep brown and bobbing deliciously in front of him. Harry shakes his head, palming at his cock and lazily looking over Draco.

“Not tonight. Tonight, I want to fuck you.” He doesn’t need to add ‘if this is the last time I’m going to see you’. Draco knows. If he was leaving he’d want to bury himself in Harry’s heat. But then he wouldn’t leave. He has nowhere to go. Draco huffs slightly and Harry rubs himself, the flush head of his cock poking out of his fist. Bloody git.

“I suppose I might be ok with that,” Draco tries to sneer, but his cock is leaking onto his stomach and he’s pretty sure his whole body is quivering in anticipation. Harry smirks, making Draco’s cock pulse, and slides between Draco’s open legs, pressing soft kisses to his skin. Draco bites back the moan about to escape his lips. His skin tingles with the slight scrape of stubble as Harry moves higher, brushing past Draco’s leaking cock. 

Draco’s head starts to spin and Harry sucks, nipping and licking at Draco’s skin, undoubtedly leaving marks. Fuck, if he could keep those marks there forever, a constant reminder that he got to sleep with Harry. That at least once, he was Harry’s and Harry was his.

Harry runs his tongue over Draco’s nipple and Draco cries out, his back arching and Harry moves to kneel between his legs. Draco watches as Harry summons lube completely wordlessly, his heart skipping. Harry catches his gaze, his eyes burning into Draco as he uncaps the tube and squirts lube into his palm, rubbing his fingers slowly. The room crackles with energy and magic, and Draco doesn’t think he’ll ever need to breathe again. Not if Harry carries on looking at him like that.

Harry presses forward, taking Draco’s mouth with his as he starts to gently rub around Draco’s hole, sending shivers of pleasure through Draco. Draco wraps his arms around Harry’s neck, bringing him closer, needing to feel more of Harry, as Harry slips his finger into Draco. Draco writhes on the bed, his mouth connected with Harry, their breath mingling as Harry prepares him, sliding another finger, and another into Draco. 

“So beautiful,” Harry murmurs into his mouth as Draco continues to squirm in pleasure, “I love you like this.” It’s easy to trick himself into not hearing the ‘like this’ bit. He arches his back, pressing himself against Harry, rubbing his aching cock against Harry’s hard muscles. Harry shifts, taking his heat away for a moment, before Draco recognises the dull pressure of Harry’s cock pressing against his entrance. He clings to Harry, scratching at his back and Harry presses in, rocking slowly as he inches deeper. When he’s fully seated, Harry pauses, pressing soft, small kisses to Draco’s face and neck.

“Harry…” Draco breathes and Harry takes the signal to start moving. Harry’s hips roll and Draco rocks to meet each thrust, their skin becoming slick with sweat. There isn’t much he wouldn’t give to have this again. Every day. For the rest of their lives. But he can’t tell Harry that, so instead he kisses the other man deeply, his eyes clenched shut, bending his legs so that Harry can go deeper. Harry groans, his hands moving to run up Draco’s side. Draco drops one arm and Harry’s fingers tread through his, their hands clasped together as they move in unison. 

“Who’s going to do this when I’m gone?” Harry pants, pushing harder and making Draco’s body curl. Draco’s eyes spring open and he stares at Harry. His hand clenches, and he shakes his head, his chest hurting and his lungs tight.

“No one,” he croaks “There isn’t anyone else.” Harry lets out a small pained whine, almost inaudibly, and nuzzles into Draco’s neck. Tightening his free arm around Harry, Draco holds back a sob. Deep pleasure meets with twinges of pain as Harry shakes on top of him. It isn’t fair. Harry shouldn’t be leaving. This is Harry’s home. They belong together. Draco takes a deep breath, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist and Harry’s movements become smooth again.

“Mine,” Harry whispers, so quietly Draco isn’t sure he was supposed to hear. Before he can respond, before he can tell Harry how he is Harry’s, and that Harry is his, Harry crashes their lips together. It’s all teeth and tongue and Draco’s head swims. They start to move faster, Harry pounding into Draco, his cock stroking against Draco’s prostate with every thrust. Draco clings to Harry, the exquisite pressure building, his legs growing heavy and his fingers numb as Harry pushes him closer to edge. 

Harry pulls back, his eyes shining, intense in a way that Draco has never seen them before, piercing through Draco, and Draco comes. His body shakes with it, his eyes clenching shut tightly as he spills between them, spunk adding to the sweat and making them slick. He feels Harry shudder above him as he is filled with Harry’s come, warmth running through him. He takes a deep breath, his body sated and his brain swimming.

After a moment Harry slides out of him, flopping down next to him. The air is cool against his stomach where sweat and come is drying, and he knows he should get up and find his wand to clean himself off. But his eyelids are drooping and his body is too heavy to move. No. Lying in a pool of sweat and spunk is gross. He forces himself to concentrate, using the skills that Harry has taught him, magic tingling at his fingertips and Accios his wand from wherever it landed. The cool wood lands in his hand and he waves it once, cleaning them both. Next to him Harry chuckles.

“Fuck, how am I going to survive without you.” Harry mumbles, wrapping his arm around Draco and pulling him closer. Draco closes his eyes and focuses on the way Harry is pressed against him, the heat and weight of the man he loves. He takes a deep breath, controlling himself like only a Malfoy can.

“You’ll find someone else,” he shrugs, pleased at how calm he sounds. The air is thick and there’s a brief pause, a split second where everything starts to fall into darkness, before Harry’s arms tighten and his head shakes.

“There’s no one like you, Draco.” Harry’s breath tickles the back of Draco’s neck and his heart stops for a moment. This is important. He knows it is. But his body is too tired, his head to fuzzy from alcohol and sex and Harry, and he can’t bring himself to wake up. To tell Harry everything that he needs to keep Harry here. His body sinks back into Harry, where it belongs and he feels Harry’s arm become heavier as he falls asleep.

“Mmm… so, stay,” he mumbles through sleep heavy lips. He slips into sleep before he hears an answer.

\-----  
He’s woken the next morning by a gentle kiss to his temple. He turns to see Harry standing over him, fully dressed, his hair still wet from a shower. He frowns to himself, his brain not quite catching up for a moment. And then he’s hit with the realisation of what day it is and his stomach clenches.

“Harry?” Fuck. He didn’t mean it as a question. Harry smiles at him, and perches on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through Draco’s hair. It’s possibly the most tender Harry has ever been. And he’s leaving. He’s fucking leaving. He’s going to be tender and then fucking leave? Draco’s heart pounds and he mouth fills with acrid saliva as he tries not to throw up.

“Hey, I didn’t want to just disappear…” Harry trails off. Because that is exactly what he is doing. If there was ever a time when Draco needed to channel his inner anything-but-Slytherin, it’s now. He shuffles to sit up, wrapping his hand around Harry’s and takes a deep breath. Shit, how does Harry do this all the time?

“Then don’t,” he mutters, staring at the duvet. Sure. That was explanatory. He glances up at Harry and sees the other man frowning in confusion.

“That’s why I woke you up.” Harry talks slowly, like he’s trying to figure something out. Draco shakes his head and runs one hand through his hair. He needs to do better. He needs to make Harry understand that he can’t leave. His neck prickles and tears sting at the back of his eyes as he tries to control his panic.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant…” he looks up, meeting Harry’s eyes and lets out a shaky breath, “stay here. Forever. Do go to America. Stay.” Harry’s eyes flick over his face and he shakes his head slightly. Draco thinks for a second about withdrawing his hand. About going back to his Malfoy ways and acting indifferent to Harry’s departure, but he can’t. Not anymore. Not after all they’ve been through. He’s not hiding anymore. Fuck self-preservation.

“But… I can’t—”

“Yes, you can.” Draco surprises himself with how loud he sounds, how sure. Harry continues watching him, energy pulsing from him as he waits. Draco shakes his head, holding on to any courage he might have. “Look, I know you’ve been lost, and you think that you have to move to find yourself, to find your place in the world now that you don’t have a war to be winning, but trust me, running doesn’t do anything. This is your place. This is your home, Harry. You belong here, with your friends and your family. With me. I love you. Stay, and we can figure out life together. Please… just, stay.” They sit in silence, Harry watching Draco and Draco trying not to throw up. He’s going to say no. He’s going to leave forever, and meet some other man and they’ll live together happily forever and Draco will be left alone. He’s going to say—

“Ok.” Harry smiles. A small sob escapes from the back of Draco’s throat and he starts to shake, relief running through him and Harry laughs, pressing his forehead against Draco’s. “I love you too. I didn’t think… but if you’re here then here is where I need to be.” Draco can’t keep the grin from his face as he presses a soft kiss to Harry’s lips, not wanting to be anywhere else.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love! Thanks for reading.


End file.
